Cat's Cave

And I’ll cry if I want to–thank you, Howie Mandel for your take on the Lesley Gore song.

If I exist as a shroud only,
Should that not release the unbearable??
See me only as a shadow, vague and undisturbed,
Pass through me quickly, take the strands of my spirit and cut them loose…
Thrice the whispers of help me, I am hurting
Not heard, not understood
No one available
No harm meant; others filled with their own whispers of I Hurt
I Hurt
Cut them loose, the strands of my spirit
Empty space, out of space, out in space
Float without an anchor
No soaring, blowing aimlessly,
No destination, lost
Darkness, no. Light, no.
Limbo, yes.
Suffocating stillness, Shallow breathing
Creep and crawl and fall
Maybe goose step through the 24 hours?
By rote/auto-pilot…broken
Sag time, sag man gone
Not for good, invisible for awhile
Give and get, eyes locked in shared despair
No greetings from the other side of it
No trail through it, make my own when energy returns
Energy returns when the bill is paid
Didn’t know it was past due
Close the door to the recovery room
Sleep, free of dreams, full of fits

Go To Water For Healing

In A Few Days For A Few Days

I AM
why didn’t you care enough
to send your best…
oh, thats right!
Hallmark wasn’t yet acting as a reminder
of love and decency and caring

you averted your eyes
I Was Still There
(There is more where this came from … )

When I watched my little chickadee do his trapeze act this morning, I was jealous. He perched on the feeder line, flipped over, and hung up side down. He didn’t give a FF about the other, bigger birds flying in and out of the feeding station. The small breeze made the line sway and once again he stayed and swayed with it. When he was ready, he righted himself and flew off…and I wanted to go with him. (There is more where this came from … )

The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know. — Socrates

The more you know, the less you understand. — Lao-Tse

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn? — George Bernard Shaw

(There is more where this came from … )

Ten minutes is all it took for me to crash and burn. It’s not a record for me; I’ve done it in ten seconds. The ten minutes most likely is a delayed reaction to what happened…or didn’t happen. Words were said, I became silent but used every damn thing I could think of to shut out the laughter of those who taught me well to think badly of myself. And it just didn’t work, none of them worked…so the shriveling started.

“I watched a flower withering and was embarrassed by it’s honesty.”

~~unknown~~ (There is more where this came from … )

Sitting outside this morning and watching the rain, I become aware of the green glow of the leaves…the rain had gently dissolved the dust and grime weighing them down. There was no harsh wind whipping them, no drowning downpour beating them down…had there been, they would have survived, albeit with fewer leaves. (There is more where this came from … )

Sometimes I ignore the things/events that are happening to me. It’s not an unusual thing; it’s part of being human. I tripped over a variety of things going on in real life and the community. Ignoring them didn’t help, it hindered my taking action. For now, that action means going into inaction. Allow these things to surface, perhaps understand them, hopefully to make peace with them. In a reply to a post, someone shared “sometimes a part of you has to die in order for the rest of you to live.” I am not sure those are the correct words, but the meaning is the same.

It’s the best encouragement I’ve had in a silent but profound way. I intend to honor it. If it touched me that deeply then it was what I needed to hear… (There is more where this came from … )

If I exist as a shroud only,
Should that not release the unbearable??
See me only as a shadow, vague and undisturbed,
Pass through me quickly, take the strands of my spirit and cut them loose… (There is more where this came from … )

GiGo, garbage in garbage out, garbage in/garbage in/garbage in…finally garbage out again. Very tiring mind games. But it works; has for me for years, I believe others are becoming familiar with the concept. What goes in does not have to stay in…grab the shovel, here I come. (There is more where this came from … )

Another day of leaving the miseries behind and enjoying myself. It’s not illegal or immoral–nuts!–but it does soothe the soul.

I have no idea if people actually read these things, but what the heck, here goes. (There is more where this came from … )